One night stand

Do you know the feeling of being unsure in your life choices?
Which one will be the best for me? Does this fit me? How should I work this out?
I usually overthink most situations and am never sure if I’m making the right decision.
My insecurities don’t help with this and mostly I end up with nothing at all, because I screwed up something in a wrong way. The fact of the matter is that I never know if it’s love or my imagination? And even if I am in love, will it be vice versa?
Anyway, this week I made a crazy decision to do something crazy for once. I’m usually into monogamy and that stuff, but what if I don’t give a fuck for once and just do it?

So that’s why this week I went to Ikea and decided to only get one night stand. Since I don’t have a partner, I won’t be needing a second one. I’m sure this is isn’t such a big decision for most of you, but I’m a perfectionist and you have no idea how long I doubted about getting another night stand and if so, how many.
Glad I got that out of the way.

Kady

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Still here

At least, that’s what I think.
I’m so busy that I sometimes zone out in moments I shouldn’t. Like at work. I would be hearing and nodding but not listening. I’m crazy.
But to update myself on my life (since I don’t think anyone is still reading these posts), I’m doing OK. I’m the happiest when I’m studying. Although I love my job, I’ll be really happy when I can find another job. I loved working with adults with special needs, but my passion to work with kids or adolescents is high. Teams give up way too easy on adults imo and it’s hard to break out of that when you’re not in the same place for long (that’s not my decision btw, they put me in any group they need help in).

My social life isn’t too big anymore and I didn’t see my friends very often in October, which resulted in me being a bit depressed. But I’m looking on the bright side… November will hopefully be a fresh start with new adventures.

I’m going to try to write more, probably more stories etc, when I have more time again.
If you are reading this: I love you.

Kady

20 Philosophical Questions

While I was searching the internet for some interesting tags to do, I found this. I was actually searching for something more “relaxed” and more in the view of “what’s your favorite city?”,… But since I will have a philosophy class in the near future, I thought it would be interesting to already think about some things and answer them now. Who knows, my thoughts will have changed in a few years.
If you want to answer these questions yourself, there are actually 50, but some where way above my head and I’m not in the right mindset to answer all of those yet. It’s not because I’m “stupid” though, it was just a little “much” to think about everything at once.
Anyway, I hope I didn’t offend anyone by any of my answers and I’d love to start a conversation when you disagree on something!

1:Is it worse to fail at something or never attempt it in the first place?
I always say there is no such thing as “failure” if you did your best with trying. I’d rather go with trial and error than not trying and regretting, if that makes sense? In the past I wouldn’t have the confidence to try new things or was too anxious, but I learned that trial and error is part of my biggest life lessons and I feel like I wouldn’t be growing as a person if I didn’t let myself make mistakes or ‘fail’ once in a while.

2:If you could choose just one thing to change about the world, what would it be?
This will be so cheesy, but I would love to have some more peace in the world. Just people understanding and respecting each other and have beautiful conversations rather than point guns whenever there is no agreement.

3:To what extent do you shape your own destiny, and how much is down to fate?
I feel like you can “change” fate in a way, or maybe you thinking you change fate might be your fate. I just know that I have been working my butt off to change my future. My family has always been warm and happy, but there has always been some kind of difficulties in the financial part. After I graduate I will be the first in all generations of my family to have a higher degree, which I did all myself (payed for it myself, worked for it myself,…). So, maybe that’s my fate all along?

4:Does nature shape our personalities more than nurture?
I’m a big believer of both being a huge influence in our education.

5:Should people care more about doing the right thing, or doing things right?
This one is difficult. I think people should do things that they believe are right, but on the other hand we have some people out there who think murdering an entire family is “the right thing to do”. I don’t believe we should pressure people into doing things right. Making mistakes is a huge way to learn great lessons and also to shape your personality. Trying to be the best version of yourself is a nice way to answer this question, I think.

6:How can people believe in truths without evidence?
Trust.

7:Where is the line between insanity and creativity?
There’s a little bit of insanity in all creativity, but there is no creativity in insanity.

8:What is true happiness?
Feeling great about yourself, your surroundings and the things you do. For me personally, my friends are a huge part of my happiness, even though I don’t feel great about myself yet, they try their best to let me believe that I am great.

9:What things hold you back from doing the things that you really want to?
Right now, not much actually. The only thing I miss sometimes is love. As in, being in love. But I don’t think having a partner or not is holding me down to achieve the things I want. Well, except for kids, but that’s a far future goal, I don’t really have that need right now.

10:What makes you, you?
My past. Everything that has happened in my life, shaped me into the person that I am today. Although I did not enjoy the bullying etc at all, I am kind of thankful it all turned me into the person I am today. Maybe if I had more friends in high school or earlier on, I would take friends for granted right now. Or maybe if no one would have told me what was so “ugly” or “different” about me, I wouldn’t have so much knowledge about myself, or maybe if everyone had always been nice to me, I wouldn’t have the insight into human being that I have right now. It all made me me and I’m proud of that.

11:What is time?
Something that is invented by the human race to help structure life in a specific way. Time is irrelevant, but not in the society people created.

12:Is mind or matter more real?
We know about matter because of our mind. Is both equal? This question is kind of beyond me.

13:Do you make your own decisions, or let others make them for you?
I feel like I’ve made a huge growth in making my own decisions and not getting pressured into a decision. I’m still a bit too insecure about some stuff to make own decisions though.

14:What makes a good friend?
Just being there and listening. They don’t need to agree, but I honestly love a great conversation. Also, unconditional love. I feel like love and gifts should come from the heart and not from a place where you think you HAVE to give back.

15:Why do people fear losing things that they do not even have yet?
I can’t really answer this because this is a great fear of mine. I’m too anxious to do some things because I’m already afraid that I will lose something I don’t have yet. Strange, but true.

16:Who defines good and evil?
Your own person and people around you. I don’t think the majority is always right about what’s good or bad. Biggest example right now: the election of Donald Trump. I’m not saying that me saying or thinking that this is a bad thing, means that it’s actually a bad thing. That’s just what I think about good and bad.

17:What is the difference between living and being alive?
You can be alive but not living, while you need to be living to feel like you’re alive.

18:Is a “wrong” act okay if nobody ever knows about it?
What’s a “wrong” act? And no. Ignorance or being unaware is not justice.

19:How do you know that your experience of consciousness is the same as other people’s experience of consciousness?
I literally have been walking around with this question in my mind for my whole life and I have no answer and I believe I’ll never have a clear answer on this.

20: Is it more important to be liked or respected?
Respected. Although I really try to be liked by everyone, that doesn’t always happen. So I try to respect everyone and I hope to get that back.
Hakuna Matata!
Love
Kady

Long time –

So, it has been a while.
There are still some New York stories going on in my head, but I’m going to save those for myself for now. Not that I don’t WANT to share, it’s just my adventure for now and I kinda like that idea. Anyway, there hasn’t been anything going on here because I’m trying to get my life together. Just like I try to do almost every month but never succeed. I must say though, as I am writing this, I feel the joy of blogging again and I hate myself for not being here for so long. Although I literally get zero views, it’s just a nice way to get everything “off my chest” and write again. Speaking about writing: I have had this story in my head for so long but can’t seem to find a way to put everything together. I feel like it might be an entertaining story, I just don’t know where I’m getting with it yet. I know the beginning and the end and bits and pieces for the plot, I guess the rest will come eventually, lol.

September is here and that means it’s time to go back to school. I’m actually pretty excited because this year will get pretty busy for me in that way. Well, actually, in every way possible. I’ll be working full-time, finishing an internship from college #1 and starting college #2 to complete my bachelors degree. It’s been 2 years since I had any actual classes, so I hope I still “got it”. With my previous course I had zero resits but I doubt that will still be the case. Oh, I also won’t take classes at college, but I will be teaching myself at home. Complicated, but the best way for me. I hope.
During the last weeks of August I got super obsessed with the tv show “younger”. For those who follow me on twitter and are reading this: I’m sorry for the Sutton Foster-spam lately. It won’t stop. Feel free to unfollow me. But no, seriously. I’ve always been a big Foster fan because of broadway and we are not going to get into how much of a broadway junk I am (oh btw: I saw Dear Evan Hanssen and it’s bomb.com – I didn’t just type that?! Ugh). Anyway, like I said, Sutton has always been one of my faves and I really wanted to start watching “Younger” when it came out just for her, but on the other hand I’m super busy and didn’t want to spend my time watching a tv show I might not have liked. (My grammar probably sucks in this blogpost, your welcome… < that was on purpose, ha!). Back to the point! I started watching anyways a week ago and binged the whole thing in three days and fell hard. I also developed a huge woman crush for Sutton Foster and her adorable left eyebrow. I’m sure my RL friends are completely sure I’m gay now. Which I’m not. Not that it would be a problem. Just setting it straight. Pun intended. So for all of you who are searching for a nice tv show to watch: “YOUNGER” is the place to be. I didn’t know anything about the plot except for the title when I started watching, so I’m not going to give away anything, but believe me on my word… It’s good. A really good (and gorgeous!) cast!

I’m starting my job in a new residential group next week and my new bachelor thingy starts around September 12th, so whenever I have something to tell about those things, I’ll probably post another blog. Or… Whenever I feel like writing.
Thanks for taking your time on reading this!

Love
Kady

New York storytime #4 – My first time

I really hope that some of you are thinking that I got to meet an amazing man in New York and we had a great night… Unfortunately that didn’t happen… I did meet a really handsome man though.. Well, “meet” isn’t exactly the right word. I saw him in the subway and took a sneaky picture of him because I didn’t dare to go up to him and he wouldn’t see me ever again so.. I also will never post that picture online or do anything crazy with it… It’s just a fun memory. So I’m sorry to disappoint, we will never be a cute internet story about a girl who saw a boy in the subway, took a picture of him and spread it on the internet like nutella (if you get that reference, I love you) and then he connected with her and they saw each other and lived happily ever after…

Anyway, to get to the point of the story. A trip to New York wouldn’t be a trip to New York if we didn’t see a Broadway musical. Especially being me, a musicalgeek who is out to becoming a professional musicalstar without being able to sing properly. It almost didn’t happen. My company really wanted to see “The Lion King” on Broadway, but those tickets were 190 euros per individual (for the worst seats, may I add). I love the king of lion’s and I love broadway, but ain’t nobody got money for that! So I had heard about this TKTS booth thing and we were planning on checking out those schedules and try to see a show on discount (yes, I’m cheap). It was a hard decision and we never really got to decide which one we really wanted to see. My company is more of the “known” broadway musicals and the only ones on there in that category were “Phantom of The Opera” and “Cats”. I had seen “Cats” in the West End travelling version in Belgium & my company didn’t know “Phantom”, so that wasn’t going to happen…

When we arrived in New York I noticed a few flyers and advertisements for “Waitress”. I don’t know why, but for some reason I felt attracted to it (probably because of the beautiful colors or something). I had never heard of it before, but saw the songs were by Sara Bareilles and that got me even more intrigued.

So our last day we REALLY wanted to see a show, so we went to the TKTS booth (again) and “Waitress” was 50% off, so we decided on that and BOY WAS THAT THE BEST DECISION I’VE EVER MADE!
The venue was beautiful and smelled like freshly baked pies. PIES. We were so excited and the show didn’t disappoint at all! We had amazing seats for only around 86 dollars per individual (!!!!). I fell in love with everything about it: the venue, the actors, the music, the decor, the jokes,… It was PERFECT.
And the cast… The cast.. Oh lord…. I had the pleasure to see Caitlin Houlahan in her broadway debut and fell in love with her from the first note she sang. She was amazing and I related to her character “Dawn” in so many ways! (like probably most of world population, but still).

Afterwards we decided on waiting at the stagedoors, because I’ve seen alot of actors actually show up at stagedoors to meet fans and that’s something we absolutely DON’T know in Belgium. I got to meet 4 actors of the maincast and the adorable Cate! They were all superfriendly! When you see Belgian musical actors, they are stuck up pretty easily, the same for regular actors in my country. So to see such amazing actors, so talented, so down to earth, was breathtaking! I made sure to say something to every single one of them and try to be original and I had a little conversation with little Cate’s mom as well.

Dakin Matthews
Me: Hi! You were amazing!
Dakin: Oh, thank you!
Me: Could I get a quick selfie as well?
Dakin: Yeah, sure!

Jeremy Morse 
Me: Hi! Your timing was incredible!
Jeremy: Thank you so much!
Me: Can I get a quick picture?
Jeremy: Of course!

Caitlin Houlahan 
Me: Hi!
Caitlin: Hi!
Me: So, this was your broadway debut, wasn’t it?
Caitlin: Yeah! Yes it is!
Me: Oh my god, you were so amazing! It was incredible!
Caitlin: Oh, thank you so much!!
Me: Could I get a picture with you?
Caitlin: Sure!
Me: Thank you so much!

Betsy Wolfe
Me: Hi! You were amazing! I had to say hi for my friend ____, she couldn’t be here today…
Betsy: Oh, too bad! Make sure to tell her I said hi, okay?
Me: I will! Thank you! Can we take a picture?
Betsy: Sure! Oh, is it a video?
Me: Oh no, it’s just a picture..
Betsy: Great, thank you! & say hi to your friend!
Me: Thank you so much!

Cate Elefante 
Me: Oh she’s so cute, is this her first broadway show?
Her mom: Yes it is!
Me: Is it hard to keep her grounded (little laughter)
Her mom: (laughs as well) Well, she doesn’t really understand.. I mean, she knows it’s amazing and it’s a huge thing, but she doesn’t understand how big this is yet, so that helps…
Me: Hi, you were incredible! Do you like doing this?
Cate: Yes, thank you!
Me: Thank you!!
Cate: You’re welcome!

So after all of that I was so starstruck and just so amazed by how grounded they all were, I had a glowing smile on my face for the rest of the night and had the best sleep!
Thank you to the Waitress cast & crew for making my FIRST Broadway experience unforgettable!

Love
Kady

PS: here are some pictures of the amazing experience! 🙂

New York storytime #3 – Friends

I'm one of those people who didn't have a great highschool experience when thinking about "being popular" or "having friends". To get over that, I mostly read books and wandered around on the internet. Wanderlust in my own style, you may say ;).
I was pretty quick with catching on to social media and was early with having a facebook, twitter, tumblr and youtube account. Soon I noticed that I wasn't alone, although it looked like that in my real life. I met amazing people during all those years. Some of them I still talk to, with some of them I unfortunately lost contact with because life came in the way,…

Most of my internetfriends (I actually call people "friends" pretty quickly, so if we ever talked to eachother, you're my friend, whether you like it or not, hah!) are from the USA. The USA was always a dream for me. I want to work there, I want to live there, and now that I've seen how amazing people are in real life that feeling only became stronger.

This vacation I was lucky enough to meet some twitter friends and make new friends along the way. I've met so many amazing people and I hope we'll never lose contact. (I'm also super afraid no one likes me, since I'm kinda awkward and I always want people to like me but I don't know if I'm "likeable" enough…).
I feel so lucky to have met these people in real life and see that they are 100% like their internet persona's. There are so many people I still have to meet (and I'm really hoping I will some day, because these people have helped me through crazy times, without knowing it).

This blogpost is super random and all over the place, but I just needed to mention them somewhere (even though I didn't literally mention them by name, they know who they are).
For the new people I've met: I hope I didn't came across too awkward and you'll be willing to meet me again.
For the people I still need to meet: It WILL happen, probably at random, just like New York.
For the people I've known for a longer time online: You all are exactly like I know you online and I feel blessed to have met you and spent time with you.

Love
Kady

New York storytime #2 – The girl working at Top of the Rock

The last day of our trip, we decided on visiting the Rockefeller center and observatory, enjoying the amazing view and beautiful city for one last time. In these touristy buildings, workers are always super nice and are trying to give you the best time they can by smiling, being friendly,… They never let you go without a "goodbye" or a "how are you doing today?" & they seem genuinely happy that you visited.

After our last views and teary eyes, we started to wait in line for the elevator to the exit of the building. In the distance we heard a girl singing, but didn't really think much of it. As we came closer, there were two people working at the elevators. A boy and a girl, both having the best times while working their jobs. The girl was entertaining visitors by making jokes, singing,… I've never seen someone so excited during their job. At one point she asked some people in front of the line where they were from. They answered: "Tennessee". Without hesitation she replied: "oh, you're from Tennessee? Because you're a ten, I see!", the other boy immediately started laughing and shouted: "you DID NOT just make that joke!". They were both working so good together and giving us the best goodbye experience.
I'm sure all of this doesn't really make sense while reading, so I have a video of the girl singing to make sure everyone was in the right line & I even asked for a quick selfie (I look horrible, but it's the memory, okay?!).
If anyone knows this girl, just make sure she knows that she's awesome and she made my day!

Love
Kady

New York storytime #1 – The social worker

During my vacation in New York, it became very clear how amazingly friendly US citizens are. Whether they were visiting the city themselves or they were locals, not a single conversation was too much to ask. I will cherish this kindness forever and never forget the tons of amazing random conversations I had on the streets. This is one of them.

While in New York, me and my company wanted to try as much "local" food as we could. I've always heard about the amazing New York pizza's and I don't think I would have forgiven myself if I didn't try a slice. There are many, many pizza places that advertise big and promise the "Best pizza you've ever eaten", but I don't trust easily, so we decided on asking some locals.

Being in such a big city with so many tourists walking around, it's hard to figure out who is a local, but we would mostly just go up to people and 9/10 times, they were locals.
This time we went towards two black women, I guess mid 40s (their age nor their ethnicity has nothing to do with the core of this story, but I want to remember them as vividly as I possibly can). I didn't ask their names and I've been hating myself for not asking them ever since we walked away from them, so if you remember this, I love you both and will remember you forever!

This is how our conversation went:
Me: "Hi! I'm sorry, could we ask you a question?"
Woman #1: "Sure thing! Go on!"
Me: "So, we were wondering if you could recommend any good pizza places around here?"
Woman #1: "Oh My God! I wish I could go with you right now! *licks fingers, starts fangirling about two amazing pizza places*
Woman #2: "I'm so happy this was an easy question, I was scared you were going to ask the hard stuff.. I'm a social worker, I'm used to this though…"
Me: "Really??? Me too! In Belgium though!"
Woman #2: "Oh my lord! Bless you child! *gives me the tightest hug I've ever gotten*, take care of yourself! I'll be thinking about you, bless you!"
Me: *almost in tears* "omg, thank you so so much!"
Woman #1: *makes sure I remember the directions* Enjoy yourselves, okay? Bless you!"
Me: "Thank you! Thank you so so much!!"

While talking about this to my company, he said the 2nd woman held his shoulder and said "Take great care of her!", before we walked away. I still get emotional while thinking about this. Getting such a love-filled hug, by a woman I've never met before was such a powerful thing to happen! I wish things like this could happen to everyone around the world on a daily base!

Love
Kady

Welcome

Hello everyone

This blog is inspired by my latest (and first) vacation. When I came back I had so many amazing stories in my head & I wanted to have a place to put them on and be able to come back to whenever I wanted to. There will be stories of me travelling or just random thoughts during life.. This is pretty much a blog I make to enjoy myself and friends or family who'd like to know about my adventures. If anyone else likes these, don't hesitate to give some feedback 🙂

Love
Kady